Dear teenage girls,
Don’t you go crying over that boy. He is not worth it. “But he is the love of my life” you protest, “I think he is the one”. Let me tell you something, “the one” (or in Sex and the City terms Mr Big) is a myth. It’s a lie perpetuated to you by generations of repressed women and the hegemony of shitty rom-com in our culture.
Times are a changing darling. According to the holy grail of the contemporary blogosphere a.k.a Man Repeller – if Sex and the City came out in 2017, Carrie would NOT be the protagonist. Miranda would be.
Read the piece de resistance here. Do you know why? Because she doesn’t mope around waiting for Mr Right. She balances a v successful legal career with motherhood. She is a straight shooter. She has it all. She is driven. she is honest. Most importantly, she does not accept things the way they are. Instead, she approaches the world with some degree of cynicism. I do not proffer the inclination to believe people are motivated purely by self-interest. But it is important to be wary and approach the world with some degree of scepticism. Failure to do so may result in self-delusion.
I know girls my age that do their partner’s washing EVERY DAMN TIME without thinking twice. These girls enjoy playing a game of house wifey, like you might have once enjoyed playing Sylvanian families back in the day. I know girls who settle for men that are not as smart as them, are a bit of a deadbeat or are actually kind of mean. And why do they do so? It is because for them, having someone is more desirable than being alone…
Here is my plea to you – girl with the world at her feet. Don’t be like them – unless that is truly what you want. Don’t feel like you need to want to have three kids before you are 30. Don’t feel like you need or own a thermomix. Don’t feel like you need to attend to every need of some man like he is at daycare. Don’t take the opening scene of He’s Just Not That Into You literally. A little boy pushing a little girl in the playground and telling her that she smells like dog poo should not be conflated with an innocent expression of a childhood crush. It should be seen for what it is. Which is mean. That is not an acceptable way for a child (or anyone) to treat you. Do not stand for it. Tell him he smells like dog poo and go find a little boy who makes you a daisy chain. You deserve a daisy chain.
Know that you are worth more than history may fool you in to thinking you are. Know that you are not a chattel. Not a man’s property. Not some pretty prize to be won. You are a female, who is strong as hell. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Don’t listen to anyone who told you that you can’t do something because it is not something that girls are expected to do. To hell with expectations. You can do whatever you put your mind to. Just like some men make the best nurses. Some women make the best tradesmen or structural engineers or politicians. Your gender does not define whether you would be good at something.
Oh and if a boy says something like “the gender pay wage gap is a myth”, be smart enough to debunk his arguments that maternity leave events out pay (???) and educate him about the glass ceiling yo.
It is a tough gig being a woman sometimes, but someone has got to do it.
You do you. Also that pimple that is ruining your life is actually inpercetible to all other human beings. And you don’t need to delete that instagram photo if it does not reach 100 likes.
Love from older but perhaps not yet wiser young women struggling to find her place in the world.
P.S. the image is an awesome thingo made by lemondifficult who does kick-ass embroidery and sells it in her etsy store. I would buy it but I don’t live in the U.S. if you do maybe you should buy it.